


Your Eyes Will Lead Me Straight Back Home

by butterflystylinson



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Feelings, Feels, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 07:08:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1735649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflystylinson/pseuds/butterflystylinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis got engaged, and Harry writes a song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Eyes Will Lead Me Straight Back Home

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic so please don't judge too much..

"So you're engaged now huh?"

"Harry, I didn't have a choice.."

"No Louis, I'm done waiting for you." Harry screamed, there was no point in trying to change his mind and Louis knew this, but he just couldn't give up.

"Harry please," A sobbed racked it's way through Louis' small frame, he was skinnier than he'd ever been and people had noticed. It's not that he wasn't eating, he was just exhausted constantly, all of them were. "It's not my fault Harry, please don't leave me. You know I will always love you and no matter what the public know it's you and me that counts-"

"Louis stop." Harry choked out as tears dragged themselves from his emerald eyes and down his porcelain cheeks. "I can't hide anymore. I can't hide behind her or 'the womaniser' or 'just good friends' and pretend to be someone I'm not. How long will it be before you have to marry her? How long until you realise there is no hope and just move on from me and actually fall in love with her? I can't sit here and hold your dirty little secret anymore- if you cared that much you'd speak to management with enough conviction to make them listen to you." He knew he was being stupid, and that Louis hated this too and would do anything to stop it, but he was too hurt.

"Harry please you're being irrational! You know there is nothing I can say to them to make them listen. You know we can't come out and that no matter what I would never just move on from you." Louis' insides were on fire now, and as he softly tried to talk Harry down all he could feel and see was pain as he witnessed the sadness seeping from Harry's eyes as he slowly fell apart. 

Louis reached out slowly, tentatively, as if he was trying to calm an injured animal and ran his fingers up Harry's tear stained shirt, moving one hand up to lace in his hair, and the other to tilt the younger boy's face towards him.

"Harry please," he whispered, before gently brushing their lips together. Harry kissed back for a second, sobs escaping from his body as his lips moulded perfectly with the small boy he was towering over's before he snapped. His body went rigid and he pushed Louis away, feeling tiny, even though Louis was so much smaller. That was the moment that Louis realised the end. 

"Goodbye Louis," Harry whispered as he removed his promise ring and placed it gently on their coffee table. "I will always love you."

His long stride then took him out the door of their shared flat and with the sound of the key he dropped on the tiled floor echoing around Louis' now empty world he fell apart completely.

\-----------------  
A week later and Harry still couldn't drag himself out of bed. He wasn't even watching tv, or checking his phone after attempting to watch a lighthearted show a day to two before and being slapped in the face by the "Breaking News: Louis Tomlinson engaged and Harry Styles no where to be seen" headlines littering MTV. His mum would bring him food and drink and try desperately to tear him out of his bubble of pain and despair, but every time she mentioned anything his only reaction was to burst into tears.

He'd kept his phone on for a little while at first too, but Louis' constant phone calls which he received (he knew it was Louis because Louis had a special ringtone) did nothing but break him further, he didn't even know that was possible.

So Harry was still in his too small bed, his long legs cramped and Louis not there to keep him warm, watching the rain hit the frosty windows with nothing but his own wallowing to keep him company.

\---------

After three weeks his mother was worried, she eventually managed to make Harry tell her, through his broken sobs and unending tears, what had happened but she still couldn't talk him out of the house. The boys knew he has safe, but Anne wasn't so sure. The fact that Harry still broke at everything even remotely related to Louis, and had constant tear stained cheeks told her that this wasn't something Harry could be easily saved from.

Harry was scared too, scared that he'd never see anything past the blurry pain.

\--------  
One month had passed and Harry was watching re runs of Friends, and crying at Ross and Rachel for the third time that day when his mother walked in, clutching a small book.

"Harry," she began, voice soft and eyes wide and concerned as Harry put up a guard inside, like he always did when Anne tried to talk to him about anything. It was almost possible to see the wall go up behind Harry's hollow eyes, stooping anything from penetrating into his head."Love I know it hurts but please-"

"No mum." He cut her off, voice raspy and tears brimming. He tried to hold the pain back, b it wasn't something he had perfected yet and the tears slowly wet his cheeks, which never seemed to dry. "I know what you're going to say and I can't do it. I can't stop thinking about him. I can't move on but I can't go back either. I need him more than anything, but I can't go back, I can't hide anymore and I just don't think love is enough this time." Harry finished with deep sigh, his words echoing in his mind and hitting him hard, even though he'd said them so many times before.

"I know baby," she spoke again, softer still this time, pleading him to listen. "But please, for me, take this and write in it, write a journal, poems, songs, I know how much you love to write songs, please, just try. You need to try." She had all but given up, and it tore her apart to see her son like this. 

"Mum-" Harry tried to argue but he was cut off by Anne standing and leaving the room telling him over and over to give it a try as she too tried to hide her tired, terrified tears. He thought for a moment, pondering just what he could possibly write in the small moleskin book, and how anything would change even if he did write in it. Everything was pointless already, and he didn't need stupid words on a page to make him feel weaker.

He finally stood before walking swiftly back to his room, ditching the notebook on the coffee table as lyrics and words began replacing a small amount of the pain in his heart.

\-------  
It took Harry a week to fill the first book. He poured his heart onto the small pages which now held unspoken words written in tear tracked ink, most of which didn't even make sense.

After the first few days Harry had begun to see clearer, his unbearable pain was turning slowly into a dull ache in the pit of his stomach. He knew now what he needed to do about Louis, and the only way to move on.

The last page of his book held the resemblance of words which held the key to saving him. He had written them the night before, there were tears lining the page and a lot of the ink had run down making some of the words nearly illegible. There were pages and pages about Louis eyes, pages about his pain and about how much he didn't want to hurt Louis but this page held everything he felt about everything.

Harry had sat the night before, draining the last of the ink from his pen as he filled the final page. The icy rain had slowly turned to rain before the sun peeked through the morning cloud. Harry could think of nothing but Louis, and he knew that this was never going to change so he vowed to write one final song about it. He had stolen words from other songs in the book, his heart aching to see Louis eyes again, feel his soft touch and the once familiar drag of soft lips against his own. 

The only sounds in the house were the soft scratching of the pen, and the drip of the tears falling against the page. Harry thought about everything, about the argument and how he couldn't hide anymore. He didn't want to be friends with Louis anymore.

\---------

The spring rain hammered the tinted class of the small coffee shop Ed sat in. He was waiting for Harry after receiving a vague text about an 'indie shop with dull glass and no people just off Covent Garden in West London'. He sat, sipping his cold coffee wondering why Harry needed him.

Of course Ed knew what had happened, he was one of Harry's best friends, and even though he hadn't actually been told exactly what went on, he could assume from the media's perception. He knew about Louis and Harry, and how balanced on the edge of falling that Harry had been for a while.

He was just thinking about all of the possibilities that could lead to Harry needing him so suddenly, running through scenarios of Harry being completely and utterly destroyed when he heard the chime of the bell by the door which signalled a new customer. He didn't have to look up to know it was Harry, but he did anyway.

The sight shocked him, Harry had dark circles under his eyes, which no longer held any colour other than empty grey. His skin was pale and his hair looked fine, nothing compared to the way it used to, and as he dragged himself into the chair opposite, Ed could see the way he ached to move, as if he had just run an unbelievable long way.

"Mate," he began, eyes wary and with a tone that showed his concern as clear as day. "What happened? Are you okay because you look bad.."

"Yeah.." Harry's voice was lower than usual, gruff and gravelly from the crying on the way to the shop, but he pushed on anyway, knowing that if he didn't do this now, that he never would. "I'm not okay, but I will be, I just need you to do something for me."

"Anything." 

"I, read this just take it and please, you'll know what to do with it. Send me a copy yeah?" Harry rambled, his tone sharp and panicked as he rushed to get his words out, not making much sense at all to a confused Ed. "Bye." 

Harry stood and rushed out, eyes gleaming, a pounding in his chest and a sick sort of regret in his stomach. He just didn't know of this would work.

Ed, meanwhile, smoothed out the crumpled piece of paper in front of him and read the cursive font. His confusion vanished as tears began to form in his own eyes from the pain the was seeping from the page. 

"So I could take the back road, 

But your eyes would lead me straight back home." 

He sang the tune as if it was an old childhood song, of course he knew what to do.

\--------  
A CD dropped into Harry's post box the next day with a note taped roughly to its surface.

'Its released, on YouTube already. The words, Harry you have to tell him, he will understand I promise --Ed x'

Harry turned it over gently, before shoving it into the CD player and closing his eyes as the guitar started to softly strum. He felt the song, it was right coming from Ed, perfect even.

His heart hammered and his eyes blurred but he pulled out the the CD anyway, being as gently as he could so as not to break it, and his hope with it. He grabbed a Sharpie to scribble his name on the front before positioning it in an envelope and pushing his feet into his shoes, and scuttling out the door.

Harry wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing, the pain was still there, but he had almost learned to be numb to it now and he worried that what he was doing was just going to drag it to the surface again. It was like muscle memory to him, he'd been pushing it down for so long he did it without noticing, but letting it back was like trying to run a marathon after months of rest.

He quickly stepped into his car, before he could turn back, and drove away from his mother's cosy house. As he peeled down the motorway towards London, he couldn't help but wonder what would happen after this, whether he would ever get what he truly wanted. His heart still yearned for the love that Louis provided, but he still needed more, and as pulled into his studio just outside London he couldn't help but wish for it.

\-----

The rest of the drive took just over an hour, and by the time he pulled up outside his old London flat he was shaking violently with fear. He could hear soft singing coming from inside as he stood outside of the tall wooden door that he never thought he would be knocking on.

He lifted the letterbox flap gently before carefully sliding the package through the hole although, he could hear Louis gentle voice singing the song it contained already, it must have been on the radio. He knocked heard before running back to the car, and reversing back out of the driveway to a hotel just down the street.

He didn't know exactly what to do with himself, he didn't even know if he didn't the right thing.

\----

Louis had heard the song earlier that morning, growing attached to it instantly. As he sang it softly in the shower all he could think of was the beauty of the words, he knew Harry had written it, of course he did, Ed had just dropped a new single, why drop two at the same time? Louis could recognise the poetry of Harry anywhere, he was always singing his made up songs.

As his tears merged with the shower water, and his soft voice echoed the words off the wall he heard a sharp knock on the door, and a car pulling out of his driveway. Stepping quickly out of the shower, he dried himself and headed downstairs, hair dripping water to the door. He stopped to pick up the small letter, tearing it open to reveal a CD with Harry's name scribbled on the front, along with a small moleskin book. 

Louis flipped through the tear stained pages, reading all of the words in the innocent looking book and soaking up all of the emotion. He dusted off his eyes after reading the last page and placed the CD in his computer just across the lounge. Guitar started up and Ed's voice poured out the song Louis had listened to on repeat all day. The soft words stopped and the song ended.  
Louis sobs pulled themselves out of his body, as Harry's voice cracked at the last line. He knew he had to go to management and sort this shit out. They couldn't do this to his boy anymore. He missed him so much.

\------

They hadn't seen each other since the break up, none of the boys had seen Harry or Louis either. They had an interview and management had made it compulsory, it had been three months after all.

The boys sat slowly in their chairs as the crowd screamed, it was a live interview. 

"So boys, long time no see, how has it been?" 

All five of them internally groaned, it had been bad.

The interview dragged on and Harry had been glancing continually at Louis, just taking in the sight of him. Taking in the slim curve of his lips, and the deep blue of his eyes -they still had colour even though they looked hollow and nervous- all of the sights he hadn't seen in such a long time.

Louis was doing the same, but their eyes never met, always narrowly missing each other's gazes by seconds. He was shifting nervously in his seat for the whole interview, itching for the planned question. He didn't know if this was going to work, if Harry had moved on or even cared anymore, but he had to try at least one more time.

"So boys, anything to confess in your months of?" The interviewer chirped, her annoying high pitched voice cracking the awkward tension that settled over the group once again. This interview had been like pulling teeth.

The boys all looked at each other, muttering 'no's before the interviewer locked eyes with Louis. He took a deep breath and nodded as the other boys, including Harry looked at him. Him and Harry locked eyes and Louis could practically feel the hope coming from his body. He nearly fell apart seeing that emerald green tied with his blue for the first time in months. He just wanted, needed, to touch Harry, tell him everything and just have him back.

"I-I have something to say," Louis stuttered. The crowd silenced as if they knew something was coming and that it was going to be serious. He took another deep breath before continuing, it was now or never and he knew it. "Urm I don't really know how to say this but urm El?" He beckoned Eleanor onto stage and Harry's heart sank. He stood up from his seat, eyes brimming and legs shaking. He was so broken, it was like he had been lifted up before being slammed back down. He turned and began to walk out, slowly with his head down and his cheeks wet.

He felt a soft touch on his shoulder and a whisper in his ear. "Stay, Harry. You want to hear this." When he looked up Eleanor was sat on the sofa arm next to Louis smiling softly at  
Him. She was a sweet girl, but Harry hated that smile, he had seen it plastered on her face in too many pictures.

"H, wait please!" Louis shouted. Harry turned back around and stared at him, expectant. "Look, my confession is that this is all bullshit, I'm not with Eleanor, I never was and we are not engaged. The crowd gasped and then everything went silent. Harry looked so shocked but Louis couldn't stop now. "Look I can't say this, just play the music please."

Louis stood, shaking and took centre stage as the soft guitar started.

"We're not, no we're not friends, nor have we ever been  
We just try to keep those secrets in our lives  
And if they find out, will it all go wrong?  
I never know, no one wants it to

So I could take the back road  
But your eyes'll lead me straight back home."

His soft voice was cut off by Harry's huge body on his, tears pouring from both their eyes. The crown applauded and screamed as their lips collided. Both boys saw stars, their worlds span and their hearts exploded. As they pulled back Louis whispered into Harry's ear and the mic.

"I will always love you Harry." 

\--------

They reached their flat and Louis opened the door and closed it just before Harry slammed him against it, their lips connected with tongues sliding and teeth smacking, but neither of them cared.

Harry moaned as Louis palmed him softly as their lips disconnected and Harry connected his lips to Louis' neck, sucking and leaving a mark that wouldn't need to be covered with make up.

"Mine." He growled.

It was Louis' turn to moan next as Harry kneaded him bum and instructed him to jump and and wrap his legs around his waist as he picked him up and carried him to their shared room. 

All Harry could see, taste, touch, hear and smell was louislouislouislouis, and it was the best feeling in the world.

He dragged them up the stairs, stopping every now and then to connect their lips over and over again, moaning, giggling and smiling.

They eventually reached the room and Harry backed against the bed, collapsing and bringing Louis down on top of him. 

"Off." He purred as he tugged at the hem of Louis' shirt, practically tearing it off as he ran his hands down Louis chest, feeling this body like he was taking water after a drought. Louis bucked into him, the pleasure he was feeling heightened by the fact that he hadn't touched Harry in so long.

They stripped each other before touching again as quickly as they could, grabbing at each other and just holding on.

Louis began to kiss down Harry's chest, leaving love bite after love bite, sucking on his nipples one by one and then moving further down to kiss the tip of his now leaking cock.

"Mmf Lou," Harry moaned, gripping Louis' feathery hair and holding on as if his life depended on it. He knew he wouldn't last long, it was Louis, finally.

Louis moved down past Harry's dick and pressed a gentle kiss against his hole before licking it and pushing his tongue in, listening to Harry groan and pant and push him further down. He moved his tongue in and out gently before adding one finger, and then another one when Harry had adjusted.

"Lou," Harry panted. "Please, kiss me please. I-fuck- I need you so much."

Louis slithered back up to Harry's face, the long fingers that were still wrapped in his hair tugged at him as he continued to pump his own in and out of Harry. He connected their lips in a desperate kiss which portrayed all of their love and compassion without saying a word. 

Harry was panting desperately now, begging Louis to just fuck him already, but Louis wanted to keep it loving and not hurt Harry at all, so he just added another finger, pumping gently.

Harry was on fire, he felt everything all at once, his love and his pain all rolled into one with the pleasure of Louis' fingers and a tear fell from his eye. 

Louis kissed it, drying it as a tear fell from his own eye.

"I missed you so much Boo, I didn't think I was going to make it.." Harry mumbled against Louis' lips. "Please, get in my already, I need you."

Harry had been empty for months, he hadn't even touched himself since that day, hadn't wanted to, and he needed it more than he needed to breathe. 

"Okay baby," Louis cooed, as he pulled his fingers out and wiping them on the bed as Harry winced and started to cry again because of how empty he felt. "No no babe please." Louis kissed his tears away again as he lubed himself up and slowly pushed into Harry's tight heat with a loud groan.

Neither boy lasted long, a few of Louis' long, deep thrusts and they were coming in sinc, as they always did. Harry nuzzled his face into Louis' neck, kissing it gently as Louis collapsed onto his chest. Both boys clutched at each other, attempting to touch every piece of skin and just hold on to what they had missed.

"I love you so much Louis." Harry whispered into Louis' neck.

"I love you so much Harry." Louis mirrored, and both boys slowly drifted off to sleep, entwined like vines as the rain hit the window outside, mixing with the storm that had hit the media from their recent announcement. Neither of them cared.

**Author's Note:**

> damn i love that song.. and the slight smut is kinda shitty oops.
> 
> I'm on tumblr as http://butterflystylinson.tumblr.com


End file.
